


In a Heartbeat

by ReillyJade



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: Childbirth, F/M, Fatherhood, Parenthood, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-03
Updated: 2014-05-02
Packaged: 2018-01-21 17:26:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1558280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReillyJade/pseuds/ReillyJade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With the baby due to arrive at any moment, Kristoff's mind is in chaos. Between his love for Anna and his fear of potentially becoming a bad father, he's driving himself crazy with worry. He's never been good with change, and with a new baby on a way, everything can change in a heartbeat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: All of the places and characters in this story belong to Disney and are inspired by the work of Hans Christian Andersen. No profit is being made from this story. It only serves to (hopefully) entertain.

_**-Chapter One-** _

Kristoff was perched on a snowy hillside, body leaned back against the side of his sled. His gloved hands lightly strummed his lute to a tune he made up as he went along, and though he had a slight desire to sing, he couldn't muster up any words. The only sound he allowed was a light chuckle when Sven, who was roaming nearby, tripped over his own feet while chasing a pine needle tumbling in the breeze.

He looked out at the view before him as he mindlessly played an arrhythmic song. From where he sat, the evergreen trees were merely black, pointy silhouettes against the purple and rose sky. The sun was rapidly making its descent below the horizon, and it was even earlier than the day before; the solstice was definitely on its way. In the distance, Arendelle was a tiny gap in the endless sea of trees, but it sparkled as more and more people began to light fires and candles, pouring light from the windows of shops and homes.

As his eyes fell on the palace, he thought of Anna.

Kristoff gently tossed the lute to the side and closed his eyes. He knew she was perfectly fine, but he was still worried. Anna was miserable, and being holed up in the palace didn't help matters. It was for the best – he knew that – but he still felt bad that he could wander about as he pleased, even to spend a couple of hours alone in the hills to play his lute and silently continue to freak out.

The baby was due any day now, and Kristoff had never been more scared in his life. It felt like it had only been a month since that sunny spring morning when Anna informed him she was with child. That day, he'd been beyond happy. He'd lifted Anna into the air and spun her around, laughing wholeheartedly, before enveloping her into a warm embrace.

This wasn't to say he was no longer happy, of course. He was thrilled, excited even. But where had the time gone? It felt like all he'd done since he'd learned the news was blink, and nothing more.

Yet it was time – just about, at least. Anna's belly was round and low, and she was  _so_  tired. The midwife had been staying at the palace, as were her two apprentices, readily available for when the big day arrived. The notices to be posted in the square were already prepared, written in fancy calligraphy on the finest parchment; all they needed was a name. The people of Arendelle eagerly awaited news.

And Kristoff was  _terrified._

He didn't feel ready in the slightest. He knew nothing of what it meant to be a father. Everyone – well, not  _everyone,_  but the few he talked to – told him he'd learn with time. Kristoff knew they were right in a sense, but they were never referring to the things he was actually concerning himself with. When they told him it was learning process, they were talking about things like changing the baby and the inevitable lack of sleep he and Anna would be dealing with for the next few months. While those things crossed his mind from time to time, they were hardly the cause of his troubles.

What Kristoff worried about was his state of mind. He was a fiercely independent person, and until he met Anna, it was just him, Sven, and occasionally the trolls. He excelled at being a loner, and quite frankly, he liked it. Even now as a married man he craved his alone time, something Anna didn't mind at all; in fact, it had been at her suggestion he was out on the snowy hillside to begin with. He loved her even more for understanding that his need to be alone sometimes wasn't a result of him not wanting to be with her, but simply part of who he was.

Perhaps it was selfish, but he didn't want to lose his freedom. Kristoff knew being a parent was about sacrifice, about putting your child's needs before your own, and he was prepared to do that. But how far did it go? Would he have to forfeit  _everything?_  Not knowing was driving him mad, and he hated the thought of being afforded little solitude, if any at all. It wasn't just about him, either. Kristoff became a downright miserable person when he was consistently surrounded by people for too long, and that made everyone  _else_  miserable, too.

And then there was the love.

He'd heard time and time again that the first time you see your child changes you. They'd said  _you'll love it instantly._  Kristoff hardly believed it. The only person who he'd ever truly loved was Anna, and that certainly wasn't immediate; it blossomed over time,  _strengthened_  over time.

But what if that was really how it was supposed to work? What if fathers really did fall in love with their children right away?

And what if he  _didn't?_ He'd be a terrible father. The worst. He'd be like his own father whom he'd never known. He'd taken off before Kristoff was born, leaving his mother alone with an infant.  _He_  obviously didn't fall in love right away if he had the gall to run off like that.

Kristoff thought for a moment that maybe he was just like his father. Maybe his father, too, had possessed a constant yearning for isolation. Maybe that's why he left.

Maybe that's what he'd do himself: panic and leave. Abandon Anna and their child. And if history were to repeat itself, Anna would meet an untimely death, just like his mother did, and their child would be orphaned, just like he had been.

Kristoff shook his head and groaned. To say he was over-thinking things was a severe understatement. There was no way he'd ever leave Anna and their baby. He'd never be like his father in that sense, and it was preposterous he'd let that silly idea cross his mind, even if only for a moment.

"I'm driving myself crazy here, Sven," Kristoff muttered aloud, and the reindeer turned toward his voice. "I'm not ready for this."

Sven huffed.

 _"_ _No one's ever ready for this,"_  Kristoff said in his Sven voice. Sven nodded, agreeing with the sentiment.

"That's not what everyone seems to think," Kristoff argued. "Everyone's acting like it's this big miracle I should walk into with a huge smile."

" _It_ is _a miracle,_ _you buffoon."_

Kristoff rolled his eyes.

"I  _know_  it is, but that doesn't make it any less scary. I might be awful. I might ruin the poor kid."

_"You know you won't."_

"What if I don't love him? Or her...could be a girl. Goodness, that's even scarier. A minature Anna running about..." Kristoff's voice trailed off.

Sven cocked his head to the side, eyes narrowed.

" _Don't be silly. You will._ "

"The only person I've ever loved is Anna."

_"The_ _baby_ _will be part of Anna. And you."_

Kristoff didn't say anything else, not even on behalf of Sven. Of course he knew he'd love his child; that was never really a question. But it frightened him, knowing he'd love yet  _another_  person. When he first realized he loved Anna, he resented it and tried to ignore it. Love made people vulnerable, and he couldn't have that. No, he was far too autonomous for love, for vulnerability, for  _feelings._ Anna had sharply dented, chipped, and cracked the wall he'd spent so many years building around himself; his child would surely knock it down completely, and nothing was more terrifying than that.

Still, having Anna in his life had made him so...  _complete._  So  _alive._  It had been more than worth it to let it all in. Having a bit more love in his life couldn't hurt, could it?

Kristoff heaved himself off the snowy ground. He picked up his lute and gently tossed it into the sled.

"C'mon, buddy," he said to Sven, "we'd better head back."

After Sven was hooked up to the sled, the sun had disappeared completely. Their ride back to Arendelle was lit by the half moon and the lantern Kristoff held in place. As they descended the hills, the worry began to seep back into Kristoff's mind. He was going to be responsible for the life of another human being, every single day,  _for the rest of his life._

But he tried to remind himself of the good things. There would be bedtime stories. Sleigh rides. Birthday celebrations.

_Scraped knees. Nightmares. Tears._

Goodnight kisses. Morning hugs. Smiles.

_Worries._

Laughs.

"Stop it," Kristoff scolded himself as they approached the palace. "You're turning yourself into a lunatic."

He was greeted by the guards as he entered the palace. Kristoff went directly to the library, where he'd left Anna a couple of hours before. She'd been knitting while resting her swollen feet on her favorite ottoman.

But when he got in there, he didn't find Anna; all that was there was the half-finished baby bonnet on the table beside her chair.

Kristoff checked their bedroom, thinking she'd turned in early. No Anna.

Maybe she'd gotten hungry. He checked the dining room. She wasn't there, either.

Perhaps she wanted to move things around in the nursery? She liked to do that sometimes. But when Kristoff checked the room, it was dark and empty.

Confused, he went back downstairs, hoping to find Elsa. Surely she'd know where the mother-to-be was.

Kristoff didn't find Elsa, either. He did, however, run into Ingrid, the midwife, who was walking across the corridor with a pitcher of water and a candle.

"Ingrid!" he called out.

She turned to his voice and smiled when she saw him. Ingrid was a short, plump woman with greying hair that was always pulled back in a braid.

"Good evening, sir." Kristoff would never get used to being called  _sir,_  but after marrying a princess, it was unavoidable. "We were all wondering where you'd gone off to."

"Took the sled out for a while," he said. "Have you seen Anna?"

The older woman's eyes widened.

"No one has informed you yet?"

"Informed me of what?" he asked quickly, his heart sinking. If anything had happened to Anna and he hadn't been there... he couldn't live with that. He simply couldn't. "What's happened? What's going on?"

"No need to fret, sir," Ingrid said gently. "The princess's pains have begun. The child is on its way."

Kristoff was suddenly light-headed. His knees went weak and his heart seemed to stop. Within seconds, he was passed out on the regal carpet of the corridor.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> __

_**-Chapter Two-** _

Kristoff woke a few minutes later with a dizzy head and no memory of how he ended up sprawled out on his least favorite sofa in the sitting room. It had ridiculously stiff cushions (if one could even call them  _cushions)_ and the armrests were made of the solid oak. His muscles told him to get up, to get off of this furniture equivalent of a rock, but his head was spinning and all he wanted to do was drift off to sleep.

He closed his eyes, his mind relaxing as it became consumed with the one thing, one  _person_ , he always thought about before sleeping: Anna. He thought of her smile and contagious laughter. He thought of the freckles sprinkled across her face and how he could never manage to count them because every time he tried, he got distracted and simply had to kiss her. He thought of the adorable way her eyebrows crinkled and cheeks reddened every time she got mad at him. And of course he thought of her belly, round with his child, and-

_Wait a minute._

His eyes snapped open.

_ANNA._

Kristoff quickly sat up and looked around, ignoring the pounding in his head. He remembered returning from his ride in the sled and looking for Anna. He remembered bumping into Ingrid and being told the baby was coming. And then... of course! He'd fainted like a cowardly dunce. But hadn't that been in a corridor? How'd he gotten into the sitting room? Perhaps Ingrid recruited help from the guards?

_And why in the name of heaven are you still sitting here when your wife is somewhere in the castle having your baby, you fool? Get up and find her!_

"Sir, you're awake!" came a voice. "Thank goodness. I was growing concerned."

Kristoff turned to see Ingrid walking toward him with a glass of water in hand.

"Are you feeling alright?" she asked. "That was quite a heavy fall. Here, drink this."

"Where's Anna?" he demanded. "Is she okay?"

"The Princess is perfectly alright," Ingrid assured him. "I insist you have some water, Sir. It will help quell the headache."

In his panic, Kristoff had forgotten all about the wooziness. He took a sip of water, which was ice cold, just the way he liked it. The glass wobbled in his hands and he wondered at what point he'd begun shaking.

"Perhaps you should lay back down, sir."

"I can't," he answered. "I need to see Anna. We need-"

"Sir, she is alright, I promise," Ingrid said comfortingly. "Marta and Bergitta are with her, as is the Queen."

"And you're not. Why?"

"To make sure you're alright, of course. It seems that you are, so I should be heading back."

Ingrid made a motion to leave, and Kristoff rose with the intent on following her. Sensing she had a companion, Ingrid turned.

"Is there something else I can get for you, Sir?"

"No. I just want to see Anna."

"And you shall, but Sir, her pains have only just begun an hour ago. It could be as much as a day from now before the child arrives."

Kristoff nodded. "I know, but I still want to see her."

Ingrid's eyes narrowed. "I apologize, Sir, but I don't understand."

"Well... she's my  _wife,_ " he answered, getting slightly irritated. "She's bringing my child into the world. I have to be there for her."

"I'm afraid that's entirely unheard of."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Sir," Ingrid began, "I've overseen countless births, both commoner and royal, and not once has the father ever been present. Nor has any man, for that matter."

Kristoff's eyebrows crinkled in confusion and he shook his head.

"Now  _I_  don't understand," he said.

"Men don't get involved in the event of childbirth. It's extremely rare for a man to be present, and in those seldom instances, it is when complications arise and a doctor is needed, something I've fortunately never encountered in all my years as a midwife."

"But... not even  _fathers?"_ he queried, dumbfounded. "Are you serious?"

"Never," Ingrid confirmed. "It's always been a women's event. Childbirth's a messy business, Sir. I've never come across a man who genuinely wanted to be involved."

" _I_ do," Kristoff said immediately.  _"I_  want to be there."

"Sir-"

"Ingrid, she's my wife!" he insisted. "I'm always there for her!"

"Sir," Ingrid repeated, "while I can certainly appreciate your devotion, I simply can't allow it. It's completely unorthodox, especially for a birth of such prestige."

"Prestige?"

Ingrid smiled. "You forget that you've married a princess, Sir. As the Queen does not yet have children, and it is unknown if she will, it is possible that your son or daughter will one day rule Arendelle."

Kristoff's face fell. He hadn't thought of that. As if it wasn't daunting enough to be having a child to begin with. Now the idea of raising a future king or queen on his plate. If he fainted again, he wouldn't have been the least bit shocked.

"That said," she continued, "it is imperative that tradition is followed."

"But won't she be... I don't know, angry with me?"

"The Princess? Goodness, no! She's not expecting you to be there, I promise. As I already informed you, it's unheard of."

"What am I supposed to do, then, in the meantime?"

"You may do whatever you'd like," Ingrid said. "Though from what I understand, most men either head to the nearest pub, or sleep."

Kristoff snorted. There was no way he could ever sleep at a time like this, and he'd never much cared for brandy.

He fidgeted with his hands, unsure of what to think. It did seem odd to him that he wasn't expected at the birth of his child, but if that was commonplace... well, who was he to argue? He'd spent the majority of his life in isolation, never getting truly acquainted with the customs of regular people. If things had been a certain way for this long, he wasn't really in a place to attempt to change it.

But he was still worried.

"Don't fret, Sir," Ingrid said gently, placing a comforting hand on his arm. "The Princess is in good hands, I promise you. Everything will be fine."

"And you'll... you'll keep me informed?"

"Of course. If not me, then Marta or Bergitta will seek you out."

"Alright," Kristoff agreed. "Alright. But please, just let me know where she is? I won't try to come in, I promise," he added quickly. "I'd just like to know."

Ingrid smiled and nodded.

"She is in one of the spare bedrooms in the East Wing, second floor."

"Thank you."

"Of course, Sir," Ingrid said. "Now I must be headed back, unless there's anything else you need?"

When Kristoff shook his head, she departed the room, leaving him alone with his mind running wild. In spite of himself, he sat back down on the uncomfortable couch, resting his elbows on his knees and burying his face in his hands. He  _really_  hated this. Kristoff knew what Ingrid said was most likely true – that Anna wouldn't be mad at him for not being there – but it still didn't feel right. They went through everything together, yet for what was quite possibly the most important event in their lives, they had to be kept apart?

What really drove him crazy was the time. He literally had no idea how long the process would last. It could be an hour. It could be a few hours. Or, like Ingrid said, it could take a whole day, if not more. Kristoff was a relatively patient person, but he already couldn't stand the waiting.

After aimlessly wandering around the palace for a few minutes, he wound up in the library, figuring the time might go by faster if he kept busy. He tried reading, but it was no use; with each book he selected, he'd get through a few paragraphs before the worry began to seep back in. He thought he'd attempt to finish the baby bonnet Anna had started knitting, but he gave up on that just as soon as he'd picked it up.

He went into town for a while, thinking getting out of the palace for a while might do him some good, but even that was short-lived. There weren't many people on the streets anymore, as the sun had long since gone down, but the few who braved the cold were all chatting excitedly about the upcoming royal birth. While it was admittedly a bit flattering, it was hardly helping his nerves.

When he returned to the palace, Kristoff attempted to sleep, but he winded up just staring up at the high ceiling and worrying.

After a few hours of unsuccessfully trying to determine what to do with himself, he went to second floor of the East Wing. Only one door was closed, so he figured it was safe to conclude that's where all the excitement was happening. He stood outside it with a strong desire to knock, but he restrained himself. He wasn't supposed to be there, and though he didn't like it at all, he was sure there were good reasons for it.

Kristoff went a little further down the corridor and sat on the floor against the wall. If he couldn't be with Anna, he was going to stay as close as he could. Maybe she'd ask for him; he doubted it highly, but he certainly wasn't going to miss it if she did.

An hour went by. And a second. And half of the third. No news.

Kristoff was nodding off when the most alarming of sounds brought him back to reality: a sob, followed by a wretched scream. His eyes snapped open.

_Anna._

He looked toward her room. The door was closed, but Ingrid was now in the corridor and walking toward him. He hastily stood, desperate for news.

"Is she-?" he promptly began to ask, but Ingrid held up a hand to stop him.

"The Princess is well. No child yet, but everything is going smoothly."

"She was crying," Kristoff retorted in a panic. " _I heard her crying._ "

"Well, of course she was crying."

"But you just said everything was fine!"

"Everything  _is_  fine," Ingrid said. "But that doesn't change the fact that childbirth is painful.  _Very_  painful. It could be the easiest, quickest childbirth in the world, but it would still hurt."

Kristoff rubbed his tired eyes with the heels of his hands, willing himself not to let the tears fall. He couldn't take this. Anna, his beautiful Anna, was suffering, and there was nothing he could do. He couldn't even hold her hand and whisper to her that he was  _right there_.

"Please," he implored, "I'm begging you, let me see her. I  _need_ to see her."

"Sir-"

"No, listen," he snapped, taking his hands from his eyes. He sounded harsher than he'd intended, but he didn't care. "Anna and I are  _always_  there for each other. I know you said fathers are never there when their children are born, but please, make an exception. I can't just walk around the palace and act like everything's fine, not when I know she's up here crying and I'm not here to comfort her. I  _can't_  do that.  _Please._  She's my life. She's literally  _all I have."_

Ingrid's features softened. She looked toward the door then back to Kristoff, but said nothing.

"Please," he said one more time.

"It  _is_  very unconventional," she said, and Kristoff looked to the floor, defeated. "But I will talk to the Princess."

Kristoff raised his eyes.

"Say that again," he whispered in disbelief.

"It's beyond abnormal to have a father present during delivery, so I can't just allow you in," Ingrid said. "It wouldn't be fair to the Princess. You understand, I'm sure." When Kristoff nodded, she continued. "If the moment presents itself, I will ask her if it's okay for you to come in."

Kristoff threw his arms around Ingrid, completely over the moon with joy. The woman tensed up a bit at the contact and awkwardly patted him on the back in response.

"Thank you," he breathed, pulling away. "Thank you so much."

Ingrid nodded with a smile. "Just remember that the Princess has to agree before I can permit it."

"I know."

"And Sir, you absolutely cannot be angry with her if she says no. Childbirth puts a woman in a completely alternate state of mind."

"I understand. And I promise I won't." He didn't think Anna would say no, but he'd never given birth, so how would he know what she was feeling? Kristoff was just happy to have a glimmer of hope that she may say yes.

"I'm going to go back in," Ingrid said. "Stay close. I'll return with news when I can."

As Ingrid disappeared into the room, Kristoff restlessly paced up and down the corridor, eagerly awaiting word on Anna. It felt like hours before Ingrid returned, but when she finally did, Kristoff wasted no time. He jogged right over to her, impatience in his eyes.

"It is nearly time," Ingrid said calmly, and Kristoff fleetingly wondered how she kept such a tranquil composure at a moment like this. "The child will be arriving very soon."

"And Anna?" Kristoff asked anxiously. "What did she say? Does she want me there?"

His heart thundered against his ribcage as he waited for her response, but he felt himself soar when he saw her grin.

"The Princess has allowed me to bring you in."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate Ingrid. It really was uncommon back then for men to be present during childbirth, so she was just doing her job. :) She's a wonderful woman, I promise!


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \--

_**Chapter Three** _

It took Kristoff a moment to process Ingrid's words. Anna had said yes.  _She said yes._  He was never much of a dancer, but if he hadn't come to his senses quickly enough, he would have burst into some clumsy, unsightly dance moves right there in the middle of the palace. Fortunately for him, the impulse only lasted a second and never made it to his legs. Instead, a wide grin spread across his now rosy face.

"Well, what are we waiting for then?" Kristoff took a few steps before realizing Ingrid wasn't following him. Curious, he turned and asked, "Are you not coming along?"

"Sir, before we enter the chamber, there are a few things you need to know."

The way Kristoff rolled his eyes was almost childlike, but given his nerves, he felt like he should be permitted to express his growing impatience in anyway he saw fit.

"Now? Can't you tell me later?" he asked anxiously.

"I'm sorry, but it's imperative we discuss them before you see the Princess."

"Alright," he conceded; he'd do whatever it took to get on the other side of that door. "What is it?"

"Firstly," Ingrid began, "it is essential for you to remain relaxed."

"I  _am_  relaxed," Kristoff argued unconvincingly as he tapped his foot against the floor.

"I'm sure you are," Ingrid conceded, "but the atmosphere out here is much different than the one behind that door. The Princess is a completely different person at the moment – figuratively, at least. She's bound to yell at you once at the very least, and you cannot take it personally. Furthermore, and this is very important, no matter how scared you are, you can't let it show. The Princess is in enough pain and distress as it is. If you go in there and begin panicking, it will only stress her out more, which can cause complications for both her and the child."

Kristoff nodded. "Alright. What should I do, then?"

"I have placed a chair at her side for you. My suggestion is to stay there and keep as quiet as possible, perhaps even hold her hand if she'll allow you to. However, if she'd prefer you to stay away or off in the corner somewhere, you must do it. And Sir, if, by chance, she changes her mind and asks for you to leave, you cannot argue. We must do whatever we can to keep the Princess comfortable."

"Okay."

"Similarly," she continued, "if Marta, Bergitta, or myself ask you to leave, you must do so."

"Wait, why?" Kristoff retorted. "You already said Anna agreed to-"

Ingrid held up a hand to stop him.

"I know. However, if complications arise-"

"But you said everything was going fine! Why would anything go wrong?"

"Everything  _has_  been going fine, Sir, I assure you, and I do not foresee any problems. However, troubles can arise at any time, and if they do, I may need you to exit the room so I can tend to them properly. Is that understood?"

"Fine," Kristoff agreed reluctantly. "Can we go now?"

"There's just one more thing," Ingrid said. "When the child is born, he or she will be blanketed and handed to the Princess. While you are welcome to stay for a couple of minutes, you must leave shortly after that."

"Why?"

"There are several reasons. There's the afterbirth and cleanup, as well as the child's first nursing. It's also a crucial time for mother and child to bond, so it's important to allow the Princess this time. I'm sure you understand."

"I do."

"Are you ready, Sir?"

Kristoff took one, two, three deep breaths, quelling his nerves to the best of his ability before nodding.

"Ready."

Ingrid smiled and gestured toward the door. The second it was opened, Kristoff could hear Anna's cries again and instantly felt himself begin to go into a frenzy.

 _It's normal,_  he thought.  _Ingrid said it was perfectly normal. Get it together. Get it together for Anna._

Ingrid walked right in, completely unphased by the screams after years of being in this line of work. Kristoff, however, took a moment before stepping in. He was scared of what he would see, afraid that his terror was painted all over his face, worried that he'd cause Anna more pain somehow. But he pushed his fears aside, inhaled deeply once more, and bravely stepped inside the room.

And right away, he understood what Ingrid meant about the contrasting atmospheres.

Ingrid herself seemed to be a different person. She was no longer the stern, yet kind woman he was talking to a mere minute before, but instead a fearless leader, juggling both the task at hand and giving instructions to her apprentices, all while providing gentle words of encouragement and praise to Anna. Marta and Bergitta were bustling around with water, towels, and the bassinet that would soon be occupied. Elsa was at her sister's right side, holding her hand in both of her own.

And then, of course, there was Anna. Her hair was a mess, having long since fell out of its typical braided style and now soaked with sweat. Her reddened face was twisted in pain and was stained with the streaks of previous tears. What worried Kristoff the most, though, were her eyes – she was  _terrified_ , and he wanted to do anything he could to make her feel safe again.

No one seemed to notice him hovering in the doorway like a dumbfounded loon. Everyone was too busy; he could have left and no one would have been the wiser. In fact, he almost wanted to; he not only felt completely useless, but he wasn't sure if he'd be able to keep his nerves in check in an environment like that. He expected chaos, certainly, but this was more than he'd bargained for. Not to mention, it didn't even seem like Anna remembered, or ever cared, that she'd invited them in.

"Sir, the door," Marta said suddenly.

Kristoff came out of his stupor and closed the door behind him. Goodness, anyone would have walked by. What was he thinking?

 _You_ weren't _thinking, you idiot._

At the sound of the door, Anna looked toward him.

"Kristoff?" she asked, breathless.

His eyes widened, but suddenly his mouth wouldn't work. His feet refused to move. He was fairly certain he'd stopped breathing at one point.

"Kristoff!" she yelled before letting out another scream.

"That means 'come here'," Elsa added helpfully with a grin.

It took much more effort than it probably should have, but Kristoff made to Anna's side. He sat in the chair Ingrid left there for him, but he didn't touch his wife. He'd been lead to believe she was scared, but she looked the opposite.

She looked f _urious_.

"What took you so long? Where have you been?" Anna demanded.

"I...um..."

"Don't you dare  _um_  me, Kristoff Bjorgman!" she yelled. "I've been waiting for you for an hour!  _AN HOUR!"_

The retort that he'd learned he was welcome in the room a mere five minutes ago was on the tip of his tongue, but he held it in when he caught Ingrid flashing him a stern look and shaking her head slightly. He could easily read her face:  _I warned you_ , she was saying.

He caught Elsa's sympathetic eye.

 _Don't worry about it_ , she mouthed silently.

Just as quickly as she realized Kristoff was in the room, Anna appeared to forget he was there. Her anger morphed quickly into pure discomfort as she turned to Elsa.

"It's hot," she cried. "It's nearing winter. Why is it so hot? Could you do the thing again?"

Elsa smiled and nodded. "Of course."

Kristoff watched as Elsa's hand turned blue before placing it on Anna's forehead. His wife sighed loudly in relief.

"Now that's magic. Thank you."

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," Kristoff began. "I should have brought some ice."

"Sir-" Ingrid began to warn, but she was cut off by the shouting princess.

"Don't you even  _start_!" she hollered. "I'm laying here about to have YOUR child and all you can think about is ICE? Why are you-"

But whatever she was about to scold him for next was cut off by a scream that ripped the air. Anna raised her head off the pillow as another pain tore through her abdomen. Kristoff couldn't understand why the women (save for Anna) were all so calm and collected, all whispering that she was doing great and that it wasn't much longer, while he, on the other hand, wanted to vomit from not being able to do anything to help her.

"Your doing fantastic, Anna," Ingrid said gently. "It's time."

"What?" she screeched through her cries.

"The child is near. It's time to push."

"No! No, I'm not ready yet! I can't!"

"You have to, Princess, then it will be all over."

Kristoff saw the terror return to Anna's face. The anger was gone, replaced completely by worry. He prepared himself to be ordered to leave, but that never came. To his surprise, Anna looked straight at him with tears in her eyes; she had the look of a child who was afraid to go to sleep because of the monsters.

"Kristoff, I'm scared. I'm  _so_  scared," she whispered.

 _I'm scared, too,_  he thought. He wanted to tell her, letting her know he was right there with her, but he remembered what Ingrid had said earlier. He had to be brave for her. Instead, he did the only thing he could of: he gingerly took her left hand in his.

"I know, love," he said. "But I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

"I can't do this."

"Yes, you can. You're the strongest woman I know. I love you."

He gave her hand a gentle squeeze for reassurance. Kristoff was almost positive he saw a brief, small smile appear on her face, even through the tears.

"You'll stay with me?"

"I promise."

"Don't let go. Please."

"I won't."

"Princess," Ingrid said, "at your next pain, you must push."

"Okay," she said. Then, she whispered only so Kristoff could hear, "Thank you."

That very moment, Anna's next pain came, and she screamed as she pushed. The women in the room continued to vocalize their support and praise, but Kristoff didn't. He didn't even look at all of the excitement going on in the room.

As Anna pushed, Kristoff kept his hand around hers. Even when she squeezed so hard he thought she might break his fingers, he kept them there, rubbing his thumb against her heated skin. He closed his eyes and lowered his head beside hers. Ingrid had told him to keep quiet, but he didn't. Throughout the ordeal, he whispered to Anna how much he loved her, how wonderful she was, and how he was right there. He had no idea if she could even hear him, but he liked to think having him there made her feel better, even if only a little.

Kristoff wasn't sure how long this lasted, but he kept his head down and his voice soft until the world seemed to freeze. Anna stopped screaming. The women ceased talking. The room went silent.

And then, out of nowhere, there was a cry. A  _beautiful_  cry.

Hand still around Anna's, Kristoff raised his head and opened his eyes to see Bergitta bringing a small, white blanket to Ingrid. Both women were smiling.

"Congratulations, Princess," Ingrid said tenderly. "A daughter."

As Kristoff watched Ingrid place the small, crying bundle in Anna's arms, he felt suddenly dizzy, but in the best way possible. Anna was smiling, crying, and laughing all at once as she stared down at the tiny, scrunched-up face of their little girl. Elsa was crying, too, and the hand covering her mouth was undoubtedly concealing a smile.

While Kristoff didn't cry, he was in no way unaffected by what he'd just witnessed. He was so in shock, so in awe, so in  _love_... he didn't know what to think. He wanted to hold her, but at the same time was terrified to do so. He knew he should say something,  _anything_ , but words failed him for the umpteenth time that night.

But her found them once Anna turned to him.

"I love you," he breathed.

"Oh, Kristoff," she said, "I love you, too. And I love her. My goodness, she's beautiful..."

And she was. Mess and all, Kristoff had never seen anything so lovely in his whole life, and it was more than the baby. It was everything. It was the baby and Anna and him and their family and...  _family._

It was what he'd always wanted. He loved the trolls and Sven, but this... this was what he'd thought he'd never have. Yet there it was, right there in front of him: his two perfect, beautiful girls.

But he still didn't cry.

"Sir," Ingrid said gently. "what we discussed..."

"Yes," he said hoarsely. "Yes, of course."

He placed a gentle kiss on Anna's forehead.

"They need me to leave for a bit, but I'll be right back the second you're ready, okay? I'll be just outside that door."

Anna nodded. "Okay. And Kristoff?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you," she breathed. "Thank you for being here for us. We love you."

"I love you, too."

He exited the room so the ladies could take care of whatever needed to be done. Once in the corridor, Kristoff leaned his back against the wall, put his face in his hands, and smiled. He was still terrified and overwhelmed, but he was so proud of his Anna, and he couldn't wait to properly meet his daughter.

 _Daughter._ A girl.

He couldn't have been happier.

 


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \--

_**Chapter Four** _

Within no less than a minute, the pride and glee gave way to unwelcome worry as everything he'd thought about hours earlier began to seep back in. Kristoff leaned his head against the wall of the corridor and closed his eyes. Everyone in that room except him had been weepy at the very least, and he hadn't even come close to shedding a single tear. He'd felt nothing but joy and love...  _for Anna._

Everything he'd felt in that room was for his wife, and his wife alone.

 _I don't love my daughter,_  he thought.

It was what he'd feared more than anything, and here it was, looking him straight in the face. Their little girl was beautiful and he was thrilled knowing she was his, but he didn't  _love_  her. Though he'd gladly protect her, he didn't have an overwhelming, determined desire to keep her safe from any and all harm like he'd expected to. There was no will in him to drop everything in the world for that little bundle in Anna's arms and focus solely on  _her_  needs.

But the worst part was the lack of attachment. He'd seen the way Anna's face changed when she held their daughter for the first time. That baby became her entire world. But Kristoff? He'd be heartbroken if, heaven forbid, something awful were to happen, but he didn't feel attached to the point where the sadness would consume him.

And he was ashamed of himself.

What kind of man, what kind of  _parent_ , could be so indifferent, especially after everything his mother had done for him when he was young? She'd given Kristoff everything she could and did everything possible to keep him safe, healthy, and happy. His mother had loved him more than he'd ever understood, and only now did he realize how important that love was. It was because of that love he was still alive, able to have a child of his own and not even afford her the same luxury.

Tears finally stung his eyes, but in his mind, they were there for all the wrong reasons. He should have been crying out of joy, not out of guilt, of  _shame_.

Kristoff turned his head at the sound of Anna's door opening, then promptly closing back up. He blinked away the unfallen tears as Elsa approached him, grinning from ear to ear.

"She's so beautiful," she said, wasting no time throwing her arms around him. "Congratulations! I'm so proud of you both."

"Thank you," he answered half-heartedly, though he hoped it didn't come across as such.

Unfortunately for him, it did. He should have known he never could've gotten anything past Elsa. She pulled away and looked at him, brows crinkled in confusion and blue eyes concerned.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine," he lied. "I'm fine."

"It's okay to be nervous, you know."

"I know."

"That's not what's bothering you." It was a statement, but there was a hint of inquiry in Elsa's voice that requested elaboration on his part.

Kristoff said nothing for a moment; he did open his mouth once or twice, but no words came out. How could he tell the Queen of Arendelle that he didn't love his daughter, her niece? She'd kick him out of the palace for sure. It didn't matter that he was Anna's husband; his absence of feeling was reprehensible and appaling.

"Why didn't I cry?" he finally asked quietly.

"What?"

"I didn't cry," he said. "All of you were crying. I didn't. Why?"

"Not everyone does. People have different ways of expressing things. "

"I know," Kristoff agreed, "but I didn't feel... anything."

Elsa tilted her head, but remained silent.

"Well, I was happy, obviously," he quickly amended. "I was so proud of Anna – still am – and I've never loved her more than I did in that room. But that's not how it's supposed to be."

"What do you mean?"

Kristoff sighed and could feel his cheeks reddening. He and Elsa had grown close over the past couple of years - she even insisted that he never again bow near her or refer to her as "my lady - but it still felt strange to be talking with her about something so personal. Friend or not, she was still the queen.

"There was just no...  _connection_ ," he confessed, thrilled he'd thought of another word to use instead of love. "I'm beyond blessed and I know that, but I know how I felt in that room wasn't what I was supposed to feel. I mean, look at Anna.  _Everything_  changed for her the second the baby was born, and  _that's_  the way it should be. I still don't feel that yet, and it's horrible.  _Embarrassing_. What kind of person am I? What kind of father did that poor girl end up with?"

He knew he was rambling, but the words wouldn't stop, and he narrowed his eyes when he saw that Elsa was smiling ever so slightly. He didn't know whether to be offended or worried.

"I know what kind of father she he has," Elsa said. "She has a wonderful one."

"Wait, what?"

"Kristoff," she continued, "you're a remarkable person, regardless of whether you admit it to yourself. I wouldn't have given you and Anna my blessing if I didn't think you'd take care of her and your eventual family. I know how much you love my sister, and I know you're going to love your daughter just as much."

"But why hasn't it happened yet?" he asked. "Why didn't I feel the way Anna did?"

"You forget how much Anna's experience contrasts yours. She carried her for nine months and brought her into the world. I don't want to say it was more personal for her, but... the dynamics are certainly different. I'm not saying your feelings less valid or hers more important, just that it's only natural for her emotions to catch up with her faster."

When Kristoff said nothing, Elsa place a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"You'll get there," Elsa assured him. "Give it a little time. You haven't even had a chance to  _hold_  her yet. I think once you get to properly meet her, you'll begin to feel differently. And even then, it's okay to be scared. I'm sure Anna is, too. This is all new and you'll be scared together, and that's perfectly alright."

Kristoff allowed a small smile. Even the bad things were better when shared with Anna.

"Thanks," he uttered.

It meant much more than it sounded, and he hoped Elsa knew that. She would have to because he had no time to elaborate; at that very moment, Ingrid, Marta, and Bergitta emerged from Anna's room. The latter approached them.

"How is she?" Elsa asked.

"Both the Princess and her child are doing well," Bergitta said kindly. "They are ready for visitors. You're welcome to go in any time you'd like."

"Thank you," Elsa said. As Bergitta departed, she turned to Kristoff. "Well, what are you waiting for?"

"You're... are you not coming?"

"I will a little later," she stated. "The two of you – well, the  _three_  of you – should have some time alone together."

 _Three._  It was still so surreal.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. Now go meet your daughter."

"Thank you," Kristoff said, pulling her into a hug. "Thank you for everything."

"Of course, now go!" Elsa urged with a laugh, giving him a slight push. "The longer you wait, the longer  _I_  have to wait!"

Kristoff went to the door and, just as he did earlier, took a couple of deep breaths before opening it. This was it. He was going to get to meet her,  _really_  meet her, and everything was going to change. He wasn't prepared in the slightest, but at the same time he'd never felt more ready for anything.

Anna didn't look up when the door opened, for she was too lost in gazing at her little one, and Kristoff wouldn't have had it any other way. He'd never walked in on a scene so tender, so lovely. Anna was sitting up against the majestic pillows with their daughter cradled in her arms, a small, affectionate smile on her rosy, freckled face. She wasn't saying anything, but she didn't have to, for her features said it all.

She was in love.

Sensing his presence, Anna looked up at the doorway, smile widening when she saw him standing in the frame.

"Kristoff," she whispered lovingly.

"Hi," he returned, quietly shutting the door and slowly walking to her side. "Is it alright that I'm here, or...?"

"Of course it is. Why wouldn't it be?"

"I don't know, I just-"

Kristoff stopped as he found himself at Anna's side and looking straight down at the face of their daughter. She'd been cleaned of the mess and was now sleeping. She looked so peaceful, all wrapped up in gold and sage velvet and snuggled up to Anna, and Kristoff felt warmth radiate through his chest.

But the love wasn't there yet.

"Kristoff?"

"She had your nose. Thank God," he blurted out.

His eyes widened the moment he said it. Of all the things he could have said when trulyseeing his daughter for the first time, he comments on her  _nose_? He was such an idiot. Anna would kick him out for sure.

But to his surprise, his wife giggled.

"Yes, she does," Anna agreed, "but she looks like you."

"Really?"

Anna nodded with a smile. "I think so, at least. Just look at that hair, and she has your eyes."

"How can you tell?"

"She wasn't  _always_ , sleeping, Kristoff," she answered with a laugh. "Sit down. Come closer."

Kristoff obliged and took the chair that had been left there for him. He made a bit more noise than he'd intended, but the baby didn't wake.

"How are you feeling?" he asked cautiously. "Are you alright?"

"I am now," Anna said. "I'm so sorry I yelled at you. It just hurt  _so_  bad and-"

"Don't be," he whispered gently, cautiously placing a hand on her arm. "I'm just glad you're okay."

Anna grinned down at the baby as she moved slightly in her sleep, then looked to Kristoff.

"Ingrid told me about what you did."

"Hm?"

"About asking to come in," Anna clarified. "She said you were rather persistent."

"Was I?" he asked, growing crimson. "I didn't think I was  _too_  bad. I just really wanted to be with you. I heard you crying, and-"

"Kristoff," she interrupted, "it's okay. I'm actually... well, it really meant a lot to have you here. I heard you whispering to me and... it was nice. Thank you."

"Really?"

"Yes. I just hope I didn't scare you. I must have looked disgusting..."

"Oh, Anna, not at all," he said in an exhilarated murmur, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. "You were amazing. I'm so grateful I got to be there. I love you."

"I love you, too." Anna sighed contently and looked down at the sleeping infant. "And I love her. She's so beautiful, isn't she?"

"She is," Kristoff agreed, and it wasn't a lie. He was looking down at the sweetest little face in the world. He would've sworn it was an angel nestled in his wife's arms.

"Do you want to hold her?" Anna asked.

Kristoff drew a deep intake of breath and ran a hand through his hair – a nervous habit of his.

"I – I don't know," he said nervously. "I mean, she's asleep and looks pretty cozy."

"That's okay," Anna assured him. "I shifted her around twice before you came in and she didn't even flinch."

"No, I should wait. I-"

"Kristoff... it's okay to be scared. I was, too."

"You were?"

She nodded. "It'll be okay, I promise."

Kristoff took another apprehensive look at the baby, then looked back up at Anna. There was so much love and trust in her eyes, not to mention a slight hint of her trademark determination that he couldn't ignore. So with every nerve in his body rigid with terror, he held out his arms.

"Okay."

Anna gently lifted the little girl and motioned to place her in Kristoff's outstretched limbs.

"Just be sure to support her head, good, and... there."

There she was, in his arms – safe, sleeping, and perfectly alive. She was okay and he was okay, despite the tears.

_Tears._

Kristoff didn't notice the wetness in his eyes at first because he was too busy relishing in the volcano of emotion that erupted within him. He couldn't tear his awestruck gaze at the little piece of heaven resting in his arms that was unknowingly counting on him to care for her. And suddenly, that didn't seem as scary, because it was something he truly  _wanted_  to do. He knew now without a doubt he'd do everything in his power to give his daughter the best life could offer. It'd be his personal mission to ensure she would always be warm and never know what real hunger felt like because he  _loved_  her.

It was different that he'd anticipated, but he knew it was love just the same. It wasn't the passionate, fervent kind of love he felt for Anna, nor was it the congenial love he felt for Elsa. It wasn't even the friendly love he felt for Sven, his companion through the good and the bad. No, this was different. It was protective and nurturing, adoring and devoted, but there was no doubt in his mind that it was love,  _real_  love, and that this was what he was supposed to feel.

Kristoff gently brushed a hand against his baby's cheek, all smooth and new and fresh, and she turned in her sleep toward his touch. If she were to open her eyes, she'd be gazing right up at him. He had half a mind to do something to wake her up, even if only for a minute, just so he could see her and she could see him, but he couldn't bring himself to do so. His little girl was at peace, and he wouldn't disturb that.

He looked up at Anna with a tender smile, and saw that her eyes were teared up once more, only this time not of pain, but of pure bliss.

"You two look beautiful together," she commented.

"You... you think so?"

"Very. We still have to choose a name for her."

Kristoff nodded, silently thankful Anna had brought it up. He was too enamored to remember that their daughter remained nameless.

"Yes," he agreed. He raised an eyebrow when he noticed Anna biting her lower lip. "You already have one in mind, don't you?"

"Well... yes. Sort of. I mean, it's just an idea and if you don't like it we can pick something different. I just thought-"

"Thought what?"

Anna sighed. "I thought it would be... well, I thought it'd be nice to give her your mother's name."

Kristoff's eyes widened. That had been the last thing he expected to hear.

"Wait, what?"

"It's a beautiful name, I think, and I know how much you loved your mother."

"But what about your mother?"

Anna shrugged. "Of course I loved her, but I suspect Elsa will want to use the name if she has a daughter, being heir and all. You were your mother's only child and after everything she did for you... I don't know, I just thought it'd be a nice way to honor her."

Kristoff gaped at her in a mix of flattery and admiration. She truly was the sweetest person in the world.

"You'd really be willing to do that for me?"

"Of course. I've been considering it for a while for a girl's name, actually. Do you like it?"

"I... I love it. Thank you."

He leaned in slowly to kiss Anna. It was a chaste, gentle kiss on the lips, but it was one of the most tender and sweet they'd ever shared. Everything felt right in the world. Just a few short years ago, Kristoff would have never imagined himself happy with a wife and daughter. In fact, he'd once scoffed at the very notion of such a thing. Yet there he was, with the two most beautiful girls in the world: one returning his kiss and one cradled in his arms. He had someone to love who loved him back, and they'd created a family together. He couldn't have asked for much more.

A knock on the door interrupted their bliss, but it was a welcome one when they saw the door open followed by Elsa poking her head in.

"I'm sorry, I just couldn't wait anymore," she said. "Is it alright if I come in? I can come back later if you want."

"Nonsense," Anna giggled. "Come right in."

Kristoff turned to Anna as Elsa walked in, nodding toward the latter.

"May I?" he asked.

When Anna nodded and smiled, Kristoff rose from his seat to meet Elsa. Elsa's eager arms were already outstretched. Kristoff thought it would be more heartbreaking to let his daughter go, and though he did feel a twinge of sadness, he knew she was his.

"Petra," he whispered to the sleeping infant as he handed her over, "this is your Aunt Elsa, the Queen of Arendelle. Elsa, this is Petra, the girl who sleeps like a rock, just like her mother."

"Hey!" Anna snapped playfully from behind them.

Elsa giggled as she looked down at her niece.

"Hello, Petra," she breathed. "I'm so happy to finally meet you. You're so beautiful. Oh, and you have your mother's nose, thank goodness," she added cheekily, smirking at Kristoff.

"That's better," Anna said. "Now we're even."

Elsa smiled, then whispered so only Kristoff could hear, "You okay?"

"More than okay," Kristoff replied with a grin. "Never better."

"Told you."

And as usual, Elsa was right. Everything had changed for Kristoff in an instant, but it had all been for the better. Unlike once before, he had family to face these new changes with, family to love and be loved by, and that was really all he'd needed.

Nothing was impossible now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap! Thanks so much to all of you for reading this through til the end. It means a lot to me, and I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! :)

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally posted on FFN in February, but after some thought, I decided to start this account up again and begin posting here, too. :) Thanks for reading!


End file.
